The day it all started contiued

I hear people talking, not able to make out exactly what they are saying.  I feel the warmth of some one's hand on my hand, their head is in my lap, I feel the wetness of their tears as they hit my arm.  I'm cold, the room is full of a brisk coldness, my head feels pains shooting up from my neck, my body feels heavy, I hurt all over but not sure why.  I open one eye, I see a head full of short black hair in my lap, whomever this is, is the one holding my hand and crying.  I try to talk, no much more than a moan comes out, that head in my lap looks up at me frantically as if I scared them.  His eyes full of tears looking into my eyes, I must be dreaming, It's Jason the boy I've had a huge crush on for over the last year.  He smiles at me, he says " You're awake!" I try to talk and he tells me not too. My mother who is the corner of the room talking to my brother runs over to the side of my bed and says " My baby! You're awake!" I'm confused, everyone is crying.  I don't even know where I am or what happened.  

After much hugging and kissing on me they get the nurse, she comes in and checks on me.  I ask what happened, they then tell me I've been in a coma for 5 days and I have diabetes.  It's all foreign to me at that point I don't even know what diabetes is! But a coma doesn't sound good.  I can't think clearly my head hurts to bad. They tell me to rest and not worry. I drift back to sleep. 

As I'm laying there half asleep I hear everything everyone is saying. They are talking about insulin, shots, how lucky I am, etc.  LUCKY??? I don't feel lucky!! I have to give my self a freaking shot?? NOT HAPPENING! Later the doctor comes in and examines me. He tells me that I had the highest blood sugar he's ever seen a patient have and actually "LIVE". I said well how high was it?  He says "2022" I said oh, well what's it suppose to be? He says " 70-110 is normal" I said oh WOW, guess I'm special? He laughs and says "Yea I guess you are". 

I couldn't rest in that darn hospital room, you know how it is they are always  coming in and disturbing you, well when you're diabetic you don't get any rest because on top of all the normal vitals they check they come in and stick your finger to do a blood sugar check, and then that usually results in a shot of insulin.  The nurse told me that I was going to have to give myself shots before they'd let me leave this place, I laughed and said well I guess make a permanent room because that's not happening.  She laughed.  But I was serious. 

Several days go by, I still won't give myself a shot.  I'm terrified of needles.  If I had more energy I would fight them more! But I don't so I just lay there and take whatever they are doing to me, but do it to myself? They are nuts! I did eventually give myself a shot, I just wanted to go home, I was the center of attention there and that isn't my favorite place to be.  My mom promised if I would just give myself a shot here that she would do it at home for me. So we made a deal and I sucked it up and did it, It really wasn't that bad but so not the point. 

I finally got to go home.  It was nice getting to be in my own house. But my whole life had changed. Now I couldn't even drink or eat ANYTHING without EVERYONE asking "Can you eat that?" "What's your blood sugar" "are you sure you should do that?"  When school started back everyone had heard about my ordeal. Some of the kids came to see me, Most didn't.  People at school treated me two ways 1. Like I had a disease they could catch and they'd die, or 2. like I couldn't take care of myself and asked me every five minutes if I was okay, or if I should eat that or drink that.  I really just wanted to give everyone the middle finger, however I didn't because I wasn't a kid who liked to be in trouble. 

The years went on, and I dealt with it all  better, but my mom never stopped worrying even more now that I was the "sick" kid. She blamed herself a lot that I got as sick as I did.  It wasn't her fault she is a wonderful mom and always takes great care of all of us kids. Life happens, for some reason I got the wonderful disease of Type 1 diabetes it's no body's fault but my bodies! 

Fast forward 15 years. I'm not 30 and I've had a successful pregnancy with diabetes and I have a wonderful healthy 6 year old little girl who is my life! I pray she doesn't get this wretched disease, if she does at least I have lived with it and know how to do it all. 

Diabetes is not fun. No doubt in that. But it is a livable disease, they are coming out with more and more devices/medicines to make our lives easier. One day I hope they have a cure, doubt it will be in my lifetime, but I believe it will happen. 

This was my background info of how I found out I have diabetes, the rest of the blog is just daily life with diabetes. Some will be happy post some will not. Thats just how it is. 

Thanks for following!